Fun with search terms, Flowery Prose edition.

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I love the WordPress feature that keeps track of the search engine terms that have led readers to our blogs. Some of them are obvious and you can definitely pinpoint the exact entries you’ve written that came up in the search (and hopefully assisted someone with their query)…but others are just plain entertaining!  I have a habit of plugging in as many words as possible into search engines to narrow down the possible hits, so I can only imagine what someone on the receiving end might think of the weird stuff I come up with.

Here are a few of the search terms that have been logged on Flowery Prose within the past year, the ones that got me giggling the most. I really hope something I’ve posted helped these folks out, as well, but I’m not entirely convinced of that….

saskatoon berry alcohol shot

Yes, please.

hula hooping sitting on bed

I’m not that flexible…or creative. I might somehow throw out a hip.

what if I eat a spittle bug

No biggie, it’s three percent of your daily recommended intake of protein.  And the spittle gives it a smooth mouthfeel.

prose soup

Is that like Alphagetti noodles?  Do you add veggies?  I might want that recipe.

prose on parenting

*looks to see if anyone has dropped off any kids at my house and left them there without my knowledge*

nose ill

I think this was supposed to be “Nose Hill,” one of my favourite places to walk in Calgary.  I can’t say I’ve ever written a post about “nose ills,” but if there’s a call for it, I can definitely make something up oblige.

covering raised veggie bads (sic) at night

I’m glad I’m not the only one who had veggie bads this year – I can’t believe only three of my carrot seeds germinated out of an ENTIRE package.  Maybe I would have had more success had I covered them at night.  Things to note for next year.

same look like winter cress but not

Occasionally my hair gets this way before I put the anti-frizz cream in.

speak about flower

Ask my hubby; I do, ad nauseum.  This may be a search term I’m actually qualified to write about.  If not qualified, I can certainly babble endlessly about it.  I have also been known to expound at length about flour, as well, but that’s another story….

Check your search terms: do you have any silly or unusual ones you’d like to share?  

Clipart credit.

 

Garden art.

Other than a few large, rather attractive rocks that somehow migrated to my perennial beds (either during the last glacial event or when the landscapers didn’t want to hit them with a lawnmower), I don’t have any garden ornaments on display.  As I garden in a public space, it’s probably not a good idea for me to pick what type of garden art everyone in the apartment complex should be subjected to – I’m sure I’d get it wrong in at least one person’s view.  Like all art, opinions regarding garden ornaments are deeply personal, but as this blog post from Three Dogs in a Garden serves to illustrate, the line between huh? and what on earth?! is a fine one, indeed.  I wonder what my landlady would do if I plunked Bigfoot down in the Shasta daisies…?

Your turn: what types of garden art/ornaments do you have in your garden? Feel free to post links to your photos/blog posts in the comments!  

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This little statue can be found in the Shakespeare Garden at the Silver Springs Botanical Garden here in Calgary.  Photo taken in July of last year.

The Door is Ajar: Yes by Rosemary Griebel.

(Rambling preamble).

A few years ago, I set out all eager and full of abundant ideas and started oh about five blogs on WordPress, nearly all of which have, over time, become encapsulated within Flowery Prose. I’ve hung onto The Door is Ajar, which, for those of you who haven’t subscribed to it, is an ongoing list of books I’ve been reading and a super brief commentary about them – not usually what I would consider entire reviews, because that requires more time than I have. At any rate, I have finally made the decision to amalgamate the two blogs here.  After all, books and writing and reading are a big part of Flowery Prose…and while I’m a bit afraid that some of you may be put off by my eclectic reading tastes, who knows? – this might just go over nicely in the end.  I just really feel the need to streamline the whole blogging process and get everything (bad pun alert) on one page. I won’t completely shutter the site of The Door is Ajar, but I won’t make any new entries for the foreseeable future – click here if you want to pop over and see what I was doing.

(The good stuff).

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Yes – Rosemary Griebel (2011 Frontenac House Ltd., Calgary)

I’m not sure how many of these poems from Rosemary Griebel are autobiographical but her incredibly powerful portraits of parents, lovers, and friends, the prairie landscape of childhood, and journeys to Europe and other regions of Canada (as well as some interesting and bold reimaginings of history) feel so personal and intimate I don’t want to believe otherwise.  I first selected this collection because Griebel is from Calgary, and although many of the poems were attractive to me due to that shared geography, I became far more emotionally engaged than I had anticipated – these are lines and stanzas that will bring tears to your eyes and make your stomach twist over, more than once.  Unexpected and absolutely beautiful work.

November blog fun.

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Somehow we’ve already reached the eleventh month of the year…I must have had either a wicked caffeine buzz or slept through the rest of the months because I have no idea how we arrived here so quickly.  Time doesn’t just fly, it moves at warp speed.  (“Warped” speed may be more apt in my case).

If you’re in need of a five-minute breather (yup!), I’ve rounded up a few links you should/will definitely! enjoy:

“The Hidden Dangers of Botany” will have all the avid gardeners giggling and nodding in complete understanding.  We totally do this, don’t we?

They aren’t flowery, but these absolutely incredible photographs of wild horses made my jaw drop.  The word “breathtaking” doesn’t do them proper justice.

And here are some equally outstanding photographs of birds eating, fighting, looking after their young, and generally just looking spectacular doing their thing.

Finally, the photos from the finalists for the 2016 Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards are hilarious and charming.

Some stuff I’ve posted elsewhere:

A super-yummy Pumpkin Pancakes recipe on Grit.com.

A bunch of book reviews (should really be book “mentions”) on The Door is Ajar:

Annnnnndd….my flash fiction story “The Architect” was just published online by 365 Tomorrows.  Plus, Herb Quarterly‘s Winter 2016 issue (on newsstands now) includes my article “A Garden Bounty: Propagating Herbs By Cuttings and Layering.”

Hope your week is amazing!

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Dictionaries and potential literature.

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On my other blog The Door is Ajar, I recently reviewed a book by Joe Fiorito, Rust is a Form of Fire (you can read my post in its entirety here).  In his introduction to the book, Fiorito acknowledges the influence of George Perec and his book An Attempt at Exhausting a Place in Paris (1974), as well as a literary movement Perec was a part of: Ouvroir de Littérature Potentielle (usually known as OuLiPo).  OuLiPo – which I had never heard of until reading Fiorito’s book – encouraged writers to see “potential literature” everywhere, and used what I’d consider restrictive writing exercises to create new, bold works (sometimes out of old ones).

Consider N+7.  This was a way to alter existing text by replacing every noun (N) in a work with whatever noun followed the original seven (7) entries later in the dictionary.  Another procrastination tool or super good fun?  Maybe both!  I don’t believe in writer’s block, but if you do (and you’re suffering from it), this might be the way to get the words flowing again….

At any rate, mulling over the possibilities of N+7 got me thinking about dictionaries, mostly about how no one really seems to have a print copy of them anymore.  If you need to look up the definition and usage of a word, you just plug it into whatever word processing software or search engine you regularly use and in a microsecond, you have it right there in your face. You don’t even really need to know how to spell the word – there are so many ways to retrieve it even if you come up with merely a close approximation.

We have print dictionaries at the library, but they are circulating less and less, and the beautiful hefty reference copies are rarely taken from the shelf.  I love print dictionaries and have a few at home; although a search engine is way more efficient, sometimes it’s just plain pleasant to turn the pages of the print copies and pore through the entries.

So, with dictionary in hand, here is an excerpt from my book review of Fiorito’s Rust is a Form of Fire – the original is first, followed by the N+7 version.  Please note that I am using N+7 without taking into account proper nouns and pronouns.

Over the course of three days, he spent several hours sitting near the intersection of Victoria and Queen in the bustling metropolis, and recorded all of his observations of the scenes around him:  snippets of conversations, what people were wearing, what they were drinking or eating, what the temperature was, interesting features about buildings around him…you name it.

Over the court card of three daydreams, he spent several house arrests sitting near the intertrigo of Victoria and Queen in the bustling mew, and recorded all of his obstacles of the scent-bags around him: snoods of conversions, what pepperboxes were wearing, what they were drinking or eating, what the temple was, interesting federations about bulbuls around him…you name it.

Potential literature?  Perhaps –  I did learn a few new words in the process!  And I must apologize for my juvenile sense of humour, but the “obstacles of the scent-bags” makes me giggle. Might be the title of my next short story….

Do you still use a print dictionary?  

Do you use writing exercises to inspire new work?

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Garden horror.

Procrastination is totally a good thing.  You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today.

                             ~Some random Internet meme I found while procrastinating on social media.  

Shhh….don’t tell anyone…I’m supposed to be working on an article due in a couple of days.

But I’m thinking about Garden Horror instead.  (See yesterday’s post if you are blinking at the screen and thinking I’ve finally totally lost it).

So, ahem, I thought of a few titles for as-yet-unwritten Garden Horror novels (which also ties into yesterday’s post – please do go check it out if you haven’t already).  Of course, these may sound eerily (see what I did there?) familiar to some of you:

The Slug Also Rises

Apocalypse Bough

Close Encounters of the Larval Kind 

The Drawing of the Tree 

The Turn of the Yew

The Tell-Tale Bark

The Call of Kudzu 

Okay, I must be getting back to work…the ball’s in your court.  What Garden Horror titles can you add to my list?  Make me laugh – the article I’m at this very moment feverishly churning out at a breathtaking rate of speed is about plant propagation, and we all know how very unfunny that topic is.