Air plants, cats, snow.

FPAPSNOR

So, it keeps snowing here and our cat eats pretty much all my stuff, including my houseplants.  (Of course, she leaves all my hubby’s possessions alone – his newspaper apparently doesn’t taste nearly as delicious as my research notes or my library books).

My solution?  Grow air plants. You do this indoors so the snow doesn’t matter a whit. The air plants I can afford are tiny.  They don’t need soil (soil, another thing Smudge thinks is seriously PAWsome – um, did I just write that?!). I can put them in jars and other decorative containers and hang or place them out of cat reach, which is an actual zone in the house with a fixed length and breadth that has taken me a year to get a solid grasp of.

Anyway, now I fear I may want to collect the darn things.  (The air plants, not cats.  Smudge is ALL the cat).*  I accidentally went to the garden centre the other day (had to take two trains and walk three blocks uphill both ways in the blasting wind) and came home with yet another air plant.  I would have bought the large red one as well (it was RED!) except it was priced at the equivalent of a few hours of my salary and I thought maybe my hubby might be a bit grumpy with me.  So I’m saving up for it.  I’ll tell him it’s cheaper than a new car, and he cannot argue with that.  I just wish they would label the silly things so I would know the cultivars. Tillandsia doesn’t help me; I knew that already.  😉  And I BEG and PLEAD that the ones in some of the grocery stores would be treated with more dignity and not GLUED into their containers.   They cannot be watered properly and they’ll keel over at some point from neglect.  Air plants are not made of plastic.  They are actually alive and need some care.

While meandering through reams of information about air plants for an article I recently wrote, I came across some fantastic titles at the library – if you are interested in this captivating genus, track down Air Plant Care and Design by Ryan and Meriel Lesseig and Zenaida Sengo’s Air Plants.  The Lesseig book, in particular, is brilliant, impeccably researched and extremely detailed.

Do you grow air plants?  

Do you have an indoor cat (or cats)?  What creative solutions did you come up with to maintain your houseplants in the same space as your curious feline?

*Pic here. ♥

Sunny side up.

Children’s books are often clever and amusing – especially the titles.  Summarizing the plots of published books based only on their titles (and not the actual content) can be a pleasantly entertaining diversion, especially if the eggnog’s been spiked.  😉  

The Sword in the Stove by Frank W. Dormer

Not sure this particular restaurant deserves its 3 Star Michelin rating.  But it may have earned a spot on the TV show “Forged in Fire.”

The Dreadful Fluff by Aaron Blabey

The contents of my dryer’s lint trap aftersomeone who shall remain anonymous forgot to check their pants’ pockets for Kleenex.  Actually, “dreadful” doesn’t sufficiently cover the pleasantries educed by such an incident.

Veggies with Wedgies by Todd H. Doodler

Now, that just sounds super uncomfortable. And, really, is Doodler the author’s real last name? Seems a tad suspicious.

The Funny Bunny Fly by Bethany Straker

Someone is clearly having an identity crisis.

Mr. Crum’s Potato Predicament by Anne Renard

An intensive step-by-step guide to dealing with scab. For children.  I mean, the book is for children, the scab is on the potatoes.  I think.

Who Has the Biggest Bottom? by Marijke ten Cate

There are some questions you just don’t ask a lady.

Secrets of the Vegetable Garden by Carron Brown and Giordano Poloni

A revealing, salaciously dirty tell-all: turnips and beans and carrots reveal the skeletons in their closets.

Pants on the Moon by Chloe and Mick Inkpen

My brain automatically drifted to the “other” sort of moon.  And then sort of stayed there.  I need to read this book to be sure I’ve got that all wrong.

Give Please a Chance by Bill O’Reilly and James Patterson

No, really, please do.  Imagine….

There’s a Nightmare in My Closet! by Mercer Mayer

What happened after I fired my professional organizer, and asked Stephen King to hire me a new one….

I Don’t Know What to Call My Cat by Philip Ella Bailey

Princess Ladida Fancydarling sounds about right.

You Are Not My Friend, But I Miss You by Daniel Kirk

Not passive-aggressive, much.

Do you have any to add?  Please share! I’ll take eggnog recipes, as well…. 

The largesse (largeness?) of spring.

FPPCNormandeau

Infinity is just so big that by comparison bigness itself looks really titchy.

~Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe 

O riotous spring!  My hayfever has hayfever, and the three of us (because of course the two hayfevers are their own monstrous entities) have a cold on top of it all.

But it’s cause for celebration! Why, you may ask? Well, let me tell you:

  1. I’m fairly certain I’m a walking medical miracle. I mean, hayfever + hayfever + cold and I’m still functioning-ish? My allergist needs to get on publishing that research – he could be retiring to the Caymans in no time.
  2. Although it’s probably reasonable to state that we had a more “accurate” winter than we usually do (lots of cold and snow versus a ton of Chinooks and dry, exposed earth), it felt impossibly huge and long and draggy and we. are. officially. (probably. sort. of. maybe). done. with. it.
  3. The photo says it all. The Prairie crocuses are blooming like mad all over the sunny slopes and despite the incessant sneezing and sniffling, life is pretty awesome.

 

Fun with search terms, Flowery Prose edition.

clip art of a search icon

I love the WordPress feature that keeps track of the search engine terms that have led readers to our blogs. Some of them are obvious and you can definitely pinpoint the exact entries you’ve written that came up in the search (and hopefully assisted someone with their query)…but others are just plain entertaining!  I have a habit of plugging in as many words as possible into search engines to narrow down the possible hits, so I can only imagine what someone on the receiving end might think of the weird stuff I come up with.

Here are a few of the search terms that have been logged on Flowery Prose within the past year, the ones that got me giggling the most. I really hope something I’ve posted helped these folks out, as well, but I’m not entirely convinced of that….

saskatoon berry alcohol shot

Yes, please.

hula hooping sitting on bed

I’m not that flexible…or creative. I might somehow throw out a hip.

what if I eat a spittle bug

No biggie, it’s three percent of your daily recommended intake of protein.  And the spittle gives it a smooth mouthfeel.

prose soup

Is that like Alphagetti noodles?  Do you add veggies?  I might want that recipe.

prose on parenting

*looks to see if anyone has dropped off any kids at my house and left them there without my knowledge*

nose ill

I think this was supposed to be “Nose Hill,” one of my favourite places to walk in Calgary.  I can’t say I’ve ever written a post about “nose ills,” but if there’s a call for it, I can definitely make something up oblige.

covering raised veggie bads (sic) at night

I’m glad I’m not the only one who had veggie bads this year – I can’t believe only three of my carrot seeds germinated out of an ENTIRE package.  Maybe I would have had more success had I covered them at night.  Things to note for next year.

same look like winter cress but not

Occasionally my hair gets this way before I put the anti-frizz cream in.

speak about flower

Ask my hubby; I do, ad nauseum.  This may be a search term I’m actually qualified to write about.  If not qualified, I can certainly babble endlessly about it.  I have also been known to expound at length about flour, as well, but that’s another story….

Check your search terms: do you have any silly or unusual ones you’d like to share?  

Clipart credit.

 

Garden art.

Other than a few large, rather attractive rocks that somehow migrated to my perennial beds (either during the last glacial event or when the landscapers didn’t want to hit them with a lawnmower), I don’t have any garden ornaments on display.  As I garden in a public space, it’s probably not a good idea for me to pick what type of garden art everyone in the apartment complex should be subjected to – I’m sure I’d get it wrong in at least one person’s view.  Like all art, opinions regarding garden ornaments are deeply personal, but as this blog post from Three Dogs in a Garden serves to illustrate, the line between huh? and what on earth?! is a fine one, indeed.  I wonder what my landlady would do if I plunked Bigfoot down in the Shasta daisies…?

Your turn: what types of garden art/ornaments do you have in your garden? Feel free to post links to your photos/blog posts in the comments!  

FPSGNormandeau

This little statue can be found in the Shakespeare Garden at the Silver Springs Botanical Garden here in Calgary.  Photo taken in July of last year.

Bugleweed. And “friends.”

IMG_9161

Some gardeners steer clear of plants like bugleweed (Ajuga reptans) – but in my case, ‘Black Scallop’ was the perfect choice for a large space that needed a pretty cover. And although it may appear that the bugleweed  is gunning for the lawn in this photo, rest assured it is actually the other way around and unfortunately presents clear photographic evidence of my faulty weeding practices.   Sigh…just keeping it real!   😉

What are your favourite ground cover plants?  Which are big no-no’s?  Are there any that you particularly favour for difficult spots (ie: under trees, in shady locations etc.)?

The don’ts of bird photography.

SONY DSC

My hubby says these two are likely in the avian equivalent of the witness protection program. I’m thinking I need photography lessons or new eyeglasses or both. 😉

Hope you have a wonderful, sunshine-filled Tuesday!